| Blueh |
04-22-2014 11:52 PM |
I've had plenty of my ups and downs on Graal, but I believe that one of my greatest personal achievements on Graal occurred around mid-late December of 2012, just before Christmas when gifts were being distributed. I believe it was in 2011, when it was first implemented(?) and I decided to give everyone in my guild a gift and I was miserable by the end of Christmas after buying like 75-100ish people atleast one gift, some I haven't met or have been inactive, and only got around 6-8 in return. I didn't really quite understand it then, because I had felt under appreciated and under valued by those I cared about in that low moment. It took me time to realize that wasn't true at all, and in most cases it wasn't due to selfishness, but uncertainty and distrust- people didn't know how to react to someone they viewed as conceded giving them giving them a gift all of a sudden.
Fast forward to 2012. It's a new Christmas, a new year, and I have tons more money I had than last year. By then, I completely forgotten about what happened the year before and decided to do the same thing again. Give everyone in the guild a gift. However, something strange happened this time around. I wasn't happy. I had spent a whole lot of time and effort on getting everyone a gift, some more than others depending on how well I liked them and how active they were, etc, and I was still upset. I hadn't done enough. I still had a ton of money, so I went out and bought 50 cool presents to give to strangers.
It began as an ego thing, I'll admit to that. I went out and bragged on how much I was able to give more than others. And for a while, it made me feel significant. But the craziest thing happened as I was giving these presents out. I got emotional. At first I would deny it out of pride, that I wouldn't be so mushy and give in, but I couldn't. As I was giving these out to total strangers, I realized: strangers do care. Strangers you've never met before can give you the true love appreciation you deserve. Did all of them do this? No, of course not. I've had some people try to scam me out of presents, even though I was giving them out for free. It was ridiculous, but I didn't care. I still wanted to keep giving. After I ran out, I was overwhelmed with a rush of excitement. Like I gotta do more of that! That was awesome! So why stop at 50 when I can give out 100? And why stop at 100 when I can give out 200?
At this point it was no longer a pride thing. I eventually stopped talking about it completely unless to encourage others to do the same. All I remember was having such an intense feeling of ecstasy and I was like, wow! Everyone needs to feel like this! I never wanted anything in return from these people, most of them didn't have the money to do so anyways, but they still gave me what I really needed. True and honest appreciation. It wasn't like "Thanks for the gift I appreciate it." but more like "WOW, I'm speechless! You gave me a gift to show that you cared when no one else did? Wow! Thank you!". It's no exaggeration either. My inbox was literally flooded with messages from people, not just from the ones I gave to, but from others too. I've had people come up to me and say "Hey, man. I see what you're doing and I think that's awesome." or "I really love seeing you take the time to put others first out of true holiday spirit." Small little things like this are what really got to me on an emotional level and it got to a point where I utterly collapsed and gave in and could finally admit that this was an amazing experience that everyone needs to have.
I ended up with around 120 presents or so that year and I was completely flabbergasted. I went from having only 6 one year to 120 the next. And it completely blew my mind how much I had gotten in return without expecting anything. I had given about around triple of what I had receieved, and that's where the true fulfillment came from. Others would come up and brag to me saying they had gotten 200 or 300 by gift-4-gifts or other devious methods, but that's not the point. That's just an exchange. The point is, you can't trade trust and you can't trade gratitude. You give it. And if you are fortunate like I was, you may have some in return. Are people always going to be thankful or appreciative? No, I've had people continue to pester me to give them more presents after I had given them one and explained the rest were for others, and had the ill behavior to tell me they mattered more than someone else. The gratitude and appreciation, is a bonus. You don't earn extra credit from simply meeting the status quo, you earn it by doing more. This is why I believe it's important to always give more than you receive. And this is why I believe this moment was in fact, the best one I've ever had on Graal.
Thanks for taking the time to read all of that, I appreciate it.
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