Jokes!
 

How about a thread full of jokes, just to brighten up everyones' day?
Here's my own to start it off:

How do you get 15 babies in a bowl?


How do you get them out?

don't quit ur day job xxxx

oh boy, dead baby jokes. Way to brighten up everyones day kavan :D

Come on guys, it's not much of a joke thread unless you input some jokes....

How can you tell if a blonde is a natural blonde?

How Can You Amuse A Blonde?
*Write "Turn Over On Both Sides Of The Paper"

Powerful punctation:
An English professor wrote the words:

"A woman without her man is nothing."
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All the males in the class wrote:
"A woman , without her man , is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman : without her , man is nothing."

So a man walked into a bar...

A cow has three calves
The first calf walked up to the mom and asked "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mother replied, "When you were born a rose fell on you."
Rose walks off.
The second calf walks up and asks "Mom, why is my name Daisy?"
The mom replied "When you were born a daisy fell on you."
Daisy walks off.
The third calf walks up and asks "M0m wutz 4 d1nn3r?"
The mom replied "Shut up cinder block!"

Whats the difference between Smart Blondes and Santa Clause?

They both don't exist..

.....So I say to the summoner, that's no ****** sacrifice, that's my wife!....not funny, okay, let me try this one,

Skiron nesheeth kratus sha'rok. Ragitars skiron seros kryst necrius, sed moreldar!

...it wont make much sense translated...

Uh... There's gotta be one joke that humans find funny that I know...

Okay, so a greek visiting Rome visits the colloseum, and sits next to a roman man, the Greek man boasts about his knowledge and wealth, and asks the roman again and again to play a little mental game with him.

Finally the roman agrees, realizing he would not be left alone to enjoy the colosseum battle until he played with this Greek man.

The Greek man says "ask me any question, if I don't know the answer I will pay you, then I'll ask you any question and if you dontknow the answer you pay me."

The roman goes "but I am but a farmer, ad you are a wise Greek man, so educated that a game like this would be unfair. To make it more fair, if you don't know the answer you must pay five times the amount of money I pay.
The Greek agrees.

The greek asks "what fattens you when you are new born, beats you when you are a child, gives you the money you need to live, yet is hated by you after its death?"

As the Greek suspected the farmer answers "a mother!", to which the Greek shakes his head and says "a olive tree."

The roman man thinks for a while then puts a sack of numeri on the table, the Greek is amazed at how much money the roman man was paying.

The Roman asks "what flys faster than mercury, is stronger than mars, and is greater than Jupiter, but is slower than the vine of grapes and is weaker than a amphora (type of pottery vase/jug) and lesser than a maimed slave?

The Greek thinks and thinks. But eventually admits he doesn't know, he gives the roman five times the amount back, paying every single coin he has. he asks the roman what the answer is, and the roman says "I do not know. " and throws back the one little sack of numeri and walks out.

Correction:

Q: Whats the difference between smart blondes and Santa Clause?

A: They both don't exist.

o_0 isn't that the similarity between the 2, also smart blondes do exist >:[

Correction:
How can you amuse a blonde?
*Write "Turn Over" on both sides of the paper.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...!Trollface.png

I messed up my joke so let me redo it.
What do you call a black man driving a plane?

No blonde but what happens? Tried it for 1h nothing happened :P