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Abyss · 01-28-2013

I like to write here and there when I am bored. How about you guys do you; enjoy it, totally dislike it, don't think much of it, etc? I am interested to know.

Wrote this in 10 minutes. I am writing a short story and I would like to ask you all if this is a good start to things. Also feel free to post your writing here too, I would gladly read read it and give you some feedback.

*WARNING* Intro to the story is pretty depressing.

The glistening flames waver as I walk through them. The fire repels out of my way. I look across the desolate dark field looking for any source of life. Nothing moves... The regret sinks into this post apocalyptic world as I fall to my knees. Not a trace of my family is left, nothing to bury, nothing to hold – gone... Looking out at the rising sun, raging, resentful, and riled, I curse under my breath. My heart fills with revenge. My eyes start to water. I just want to yell, but I know it won't bring back the departed. I slowly get up, fist clenched, insanity sinking in. I start running in a random direction, hoping to get away from here. Stumbling over my own legs and tears I run – till I can't run anymore. I finally fall, my mind starts going blank. My parched throat seems to be filled with sand. It hurts to swallow. My eyes fading, I see the shadow of a figure standing over me with a frown of disapproval. I black out...

FEEDBACK IS MUCH APPRECIATED!

*FEEL FREE TO POST ANYTHING YOU WRITE!*

01-28-2013	1
Abyss Registered User Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 43	Writing, do you enjoy it? I like to write here and there when I am bored. How about you guys do you; enjoy it, totally dislike it, don't think much of it, etc? I am interested to know. Wrote this in 10 minutes. I am writing a short story and I would like to ask you all if this is a good start to things. Also feel free to post your writing here too, I would gladly read read it and give you some feedback. WARNING Intro to the story is pretty depressing. The glistening flames waver as I walk through them. The fire repels out of my way. I look across the desolate dark field looking for any source of life. Nothing moves... The regret sinks into this post apocalyptic world as I fall to my knees. Not a trace of my family is left, nothing to bury, nothing to hold – gone... Looking out at the rising sun, raging, resentful, and riled, I curse under my breath. My heart fills with revenge. My eyes start to water. I just want to yell, but I know it won't bring back the departed. I slowly get up, fist clenched, insanity sinking in. I start running in a random direction, hoping to get away from here. Stumbling over my own legs and tears I run – till I can't run anymore. I finally fall, my mind starts going blank. My parched throat seems to be filled with sand. It hurts to swallow. My eyes fading, I see the shadow of a figure standing over me with a frown of disapproval. I black out... FEEDBACK IS MUCH APPRECIATED! FEEL FREE TO POST ANYTHING YOU WRITE!