mother****er I was going to post that
JADE QUAGGAN #1 PRAISE JED
Dear his Papal Glory, Saint Mancus of the Malhavoc, I pray by the beard of Jedsus this message reaches you. Once again we have been sidetracked on our long journey home to the beautiful shores of Jed Quarry. Last week Captain Kelo of The Lady Seafoam Antonym marooned us in between the lands of Fort Aspenwood and Dragonbrand, and his excuses dripped with ulterior motives, now this week we find ourselves AGAIN marooned, this time at the hands of Captain Thorich of The Red Seasniffer of the Proletariat between Fort Aspenwood and Maguuma, though, to be honest I believe he is just after some Magswag #yolo420.
With each supposedly accidental crash our rebuilt ships get smaller and smaller and I begin to wonder if random chance will somehow prove more successful at returning us home than these recent converts who call themselves Captains. In the meantime, we will again snuggle the citizens of Fort Aspenwood fiercely, we have gotten to know many of them well, they are very receptive to the word of Jedsus Chris and upon our crash landing, some even joined our dance party. The Maguuma citizens, however, I have heard are a rambunctious lot, sneaking up on you in your sleep riding their Maguumy Bears to steal all your swag for themselves.
Once again the banner of The Holy Church of Jedsus Chris of Saturday Feints will pierce the heavens as it did upon the founding of church with the first Saint of Destruction, Lord Hoschi at the Great Eiffel Tower of Vegas and like before we shall not falter, and we shall not fail.
Jedmen.
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