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I think it's a good start! I'd like to see more too. FP4 has a point about it being a wall of text. One common way to split up a story is to start a paragraph whenever you are starting a quote by someone who wasn't already talking.
You might also want to make some more paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes. In creative writing, the goal is to make it flow well for readers, not pack as much relevant information in as possible (like in an essay).
Here's an example of what I meant with dialogue:
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Yeah I like that, I'm either too stingy with paragraphs or I put way too many...I'll try to make a paragraph at every new point so it doesn't look so tedious to read.