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What? How is it boring, did you even read it? I try to implant humor into it such as the robber's name being "I need a gf" because I've seen a few players with that name and it made me chuckle, along with the case of the robbers stealing gralats simply to purchase hats.
It was just the opening I was debating to myself wether to keep working on it or just quit if nobody cared anyways (usually seems to be the case).
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Humor is objective, I personally don't really enjoy yours all that much. Just like you may not find the humor in my posts.
The biggest problem to me is the wall of text, it just really ruins it for me.
Also, if it's not "complete" you may want to mention that at the end of the post.