I'm an advocate of treating language as a fluid thing that can change, and urge people to look for context in words. While it's unfortunate that the term "gay" has been used as a negative adjective, the connotation as being a hateful slur to throw at people you genuinely want to see dead has long faded. Words like ****** are still in that vein, true, but even then I look to the person behind the words rather than trying to write everything off as a "this word must never be used by anyone" policy that I've seen some people operate.

I respect anyone who tries to reduce the use of harmful language, but I dunno if "shaming" is the best approach. In my experience online, it doesn't seem to really encourage the person to change at all. I know this sounds like an awful lot of effort and consideration for people who are seemingly offering none in return, but I think it'd be more productive in the long run.