Still would not help much time wise, there's no set limit on how long a match will take it depends on the two players and how they spar, some will go by fast and some won't so it will not be able to tell you exactly when you're up.
I feel like having the server constantly send out PM's to a mass amount of players would cause a bit of lag, not too hard to just keep checking up on the screen to see if you're up or not.
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Yeah but I'm not sure if others do but whilst im queuing i'm doing other stuff e.g. reading pms, or just something not related to Graal. Waiting is boring and so that's why I do it but knowing when I appear in a queue will comfort me as when I refer back to Graal to check if I'm sparring or something I can just check queue to see if I'm near.
Also it wouldn't constantly be sending out PMs. Only when prompted. But if it's such an issue just have a script which says the current queue but due to the writing make it condensed and you can expand to view the full queue if you double click it or something it's just a rough idea.