Solution: make scripting/LATing tutorials here on the forums for those who already have some basic knowledge of the scripts and have an interest in those positions. I'm sure the graalians.com forum would produce incredibly amounts of user-submitted content, most of it would be pretty awful at first, that's a given, but with time I'm sure some gems would appear and the game would be better off in the long run.
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You should really list all staff members (at least all non-GPs). Just like BurgerBatman. He doess an awesome job aswell and you didn't even mention a word about him.
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Nobody knows every single staff member.