|
|
08-13-2013
|
1 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
|
Fanfictions!
Been attempting to write fanfictions for sometime now, mostly about League of Legends, that being said I wish for some feedback and does anyone else here write? I would like to know! Here is the link to the thing I need feedback on, feel free to review there or here! http://http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9584763/1/Unknown |
|
08-13-2013
|
2 |
|
Graalian
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Belle Isle
Posts: 4,481
|
Talon can help you. But you already know him.
|
|
08-13-2013
|
3 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
|
|
|
08-13-2013
|
4 |
|
don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
|
ya we irl br0s, bro OT: You never sent me this one, I'll text you later today. |
|
08-13-2013
|
5 |
|
Lsimhbiwfefmtalol
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Forum Games/Classic
Posts: 399
|
|
|
08-13-2013
|
6 |
|
:)
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: no.
Posts: 10,309
|
|
|
08-14-2013
|
7 |
|
don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
|
|
|
08-14-2013
|
8 |
|
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 43
|
|
|
08-16-2013
|
9 |
|
I'm moon now (she/they)
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: literally in the middle of nowhere
Posts: 1,511
|
I write
|
|
08-17-2013
|
10 |
|
don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
|
maybe you can give him some feedback then -
|
|
08-17-2013
|
11 | |
|
don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
|
OT: I don't really have much time so I gave it a skim; the writing and imagery is pretty solid, but some of the word choice seems out of place for the setting:
|
|
|
08-26-2013
|
12 |
|
I'm moon now (she/they)
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: literally in the middle of nowhere
Posts: 1,511
|
your story is really good but you need to put in more dialouge
|
|
08-27-2013
|
13 |
|
don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
|
Not all scenes require dialogue, this one especially.
|